我看开不了。就一直的不开心。心很承重。忍着忍着，一直为自己加油。
超希望我能再脆弱一点。因为我很想哭。很想，很想不停的哭。。
悲伤。
Friday, January 3
Tuesday, August 27
30th August is my piano g8 exam, but. No, I'm not going.
Sorry. But piano, really, really isnt for me.
Grade8, last stage already i know. But.
I really, really need a stop to this torment and sorrow from playing it anymore.
Wednesday, March 20
Monday, November 26
Myers-Briggs personality type - ISTP (Introversion, Sensing, Thinking, Perception)
ISTP
Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions.
Analyze what makes things work and readily get through large amounts of data to isolate the core of practical problems.
Interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles, value efficiency.
Here these thinkers ponder the apparent chaos of the world in order to extract from it the universal truths and principles that can be counted on. These principles, once extracted, will provide the logical structure on which to build strategies.
Introverted Thinking personality types have a finely nuanced ability to analyse situations, find root causes and foresee consequences. They distrust action taken too quickly without the necessary investigation. They are usually levelheaded, objective, impersonal yet intensely involved in problem solving. They are fiercely independent, seeking input and comments from a chosen few. When reporting to others, they need to establish credibility first: their own and that of the person they are reporting to. If the gap in knowledge and expertise is too great and their own proficiency dismissed, belittled or ignored, they will lose interest and motivation.
They are less interested in running the world as they are in understanding it. They are curious and capable of explaining complex political, economic or technological problems, taking great pleasure in explaining all the factors and intricacies. They are rigorous with their thoughts and analysis, choosing the exact words that convey precisely what is meant. They may spend a lot of time defining words, concepts and systems in order to define a problematic solution.
They are armchair detectives, scientists and philosophers, spending most of their time in quiet reflection to ponder truth, and solve mysteries. They may tend to neglect social requirements and responsibilities, finding many relationships to be too superficial to be of much interest.
Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions.
Analyze what makes things work and readily get through large amounts of data to isolate the core of practical problems.
Interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles, value efficiency.
Here these thinkers ponder the apparent chaos of the world in order to extract from it the universal truths and principles that can be counted on. These principles, once extracted, will provide the logical structure on which to build strategies.
Introverted Thinking personality types have a finely nuanced ability to analyse situations, find root causes and foresee consequences. They distrust action taken too quickly without the necessary investigation. They are usually levelheaded, objective, impersonal yet intensely involved in problem solving. They are fiercely independent, seeking input and comments from a chosen few. When reporting to others, they need to establish credibility first: their own and that of the person they are reporting to. If the gap in knowledge and expertise is too great and their own proficiency dismissed, belittled or ignored, they will lose interest and motivation.
They are less interested in running the world as they are in understanding it. They are curious and capable of explaining complex political, economic or technological problems, taking great pleasure in explaining all the factors and intricacies. They are rigorous with their thoughts and analysis, choosing the exact words that convey precisely what is meant. They may spend a lot of time defining words, concepts and systems in order to define a problematic solution.
They are armchair detectives, scientists and philosophers, spending most of their time in quiet reflection to ponder truth, and solve mysteries. They may tend to neglect social requirements and responsibilities, finding many relationships to be too superficial to be of much interest.
Thursday, November 15
It's not the time to move. So I shall take a little break.
Let's just say I am not doing pretty good now and with all the bad lucks that I had accumulated falling straight right on me at a go this month.
It's time for me to slow down and brainstorm on my future instead of letting my life pass wastefully or routinely.
Goal setting, 10 years from now.
(Health, finance, career, studies, relationship with people, interests/hobbies - some pointers to guide me writing continuously as this post will still undergo thorough updates even when publicised.)
Academic -
Currently, I've just started my university life in SIM for more than 2 months.
As a polytechnic graduate, whose course doesn't have pretty much linked to my university course, I do admit I am struggling with my studies.
My tests results are far way too apart from my expectations that I have for myself. I was pretty upset, no I am. It was also peer pressure that lead me to my devastation within my inner self. UOL isn't like RMIT, NUS or other universities, in which my results are purely 100% based on the final year examinations.
And this attracts pretty much JC students, as it gave a familiarised study "lifestyle", unlike a poly one.
In year 1, I have Maths, Statistics, Economics, Banking&Finance, and Principal of Accounting.
The first three subjects that I mentioned are really peanuts to them for they have them in their JC and their A-levels standards are pretty much more tougher.
However, this doesn't stop me learning and pushing myself.
I love studying, I love my course. And I know, it's always not about comparing with others, it's about comparing/fighting with yourself, the biggest enemy.
But sometimes, we got to look at the point-of-view from the society requirements and standards in order to push ourselves further.
My results for the test came back to me. They were .. too low and far away from what I expect of myself.
But I'll still buck up, for myself.
In fact, I have already knew I will not be doing well initially, thus, I have been crashing my friends' lectures to learn more. And of course, some lecturers will chase off so, that's too bad for me.
I tried, I revise but I know I am still not working hard enough for the "society standards".
Goal:
I'll continue to revise, I'll work hard. I'll make sure I'll be proud of myself in 3 years time when I graduated.
And after that, if I have interest more towards accounting than finance, I'll take ACCA. (Most probably not)
Finance interests -
I am very interested in finance market, stocks, investments etc. But I don't know how do I go about it now because I am still pursuing my studies and building my fundamentals on this sector.
Goal:
I will start reading more finance related stuffs, get myself more closer to this area and be very successful in the finance industry extra earning money in other areas on top of my salary.
Piano "interests" -
I've skipped two lessons, in which I've not done it previously. The so-called "rebel".
I flunked my studies, I wasn't really being appreciated for working hard in my piano physically, may I emphasize again, physically in a direct way, for years.
I, therefore, find no meaning, no aim, to continue.
It was too meaningless to continue something that is some, to what I feel, to be redundant and not helpful for my future.
I completely do not have the motivation and because all along, I wasn't doing for myself. Now that I feel I lost my motive to continue, because my motivation, that I have been forcefully working hard for without rewards, isn't watching/appreciating me at all in this aspect.
But I have a twist of my mind, after my piano teacher called me up.
I have another aim. It wasn't pretty easy to change my childhood aim to another. (I can't really explain myself for this sentence and I know it's confusing.)
I have already tried and forced myself to start my grade 8 book. it's already 1/3. It's not me to just dump things just like that. Let me explain further. If I were to throw it now, then why do I start the book in the first place when I know that I will dump it halfway?
It is because I know, I know that I will try. I will do it. I will do it even if I fail badly. I will grab this responsibility and shoulder it. It's pretty hard to explain this thinking but here's my goal.
Goal:
My goal isn't fully on doing for others now. It's now partially change to complete learning the grade 8 book.
I found my aim, my meaning to continue.
I know, that I definitely will fail this. But it doesn't matter because, my goal is to complete the book before February.
Yea, I do know that in other words, I am planning to fail. But passing isn't my aim.
Other interests + goal -
I would like to learn unicycling and swimming. enough said.
To be continued..
It's time for me to slow down and brainstorm on my future instead of letting my life pass wastefully or routinely.
Goal setting, 10 years from now.
(Health, finance, career, studies, relationship with people, interests/hobbies - some pointers to guide me writing continuously as this post will still undergo thorough updates even when publicised.)
Academic -
Currently, I've just started my university life in SIM for more than 2 months.
As a polytechnic graduate, whose course doesn't have pretty much linked to my university course, I do admit I am struggling with my studies.
My tests results are far way too apart from my expectations that I have for myself. I was pretty upset, no I am. It was also peer pressure that lead me to my devastation within my inner self. UOL isn't like RMIT, NUS or other universities, in which my results are purely 100% based on the final year examinations.
And this attracts pretty much JC students, as it gave a familiarised study "lifestyle", unlike a poly one.
In year 1, I have Maths, Statistics, Economics, Banking&Finance, and Principal of Accounting.
The first three subjects that I mentioned are really peanuts to them for they have them in their JC and their A-levels standards are pretty much more tougher.
However, this doesn't stop me learning and pushing myself.
I love studying, I love my course. And I know, it's always not about comparing with others, it's about comparing/fighting with yourself, the biggest enemy.
But sometimes, we got to look at the point-of-view from the society requirements and standards in order to push ourselves further.
My results for the test came back to me. They were .. too low and far away from what I expect of myself.
But I'll still buck up, for myself.
In fact, I have already knew I will not be doing well initially, thus, I have been crashing my friends' lectures to learn more. And of course, some lecturers will chase off so, that's too bad for me.
I tried, I revise but I know I am still not working hard enough for the "society standards".
Goal:
I'll continue to revise, I'll work hard. I'll make sure I'll be proud of myself in 3 years time when I graduated.
And after that, if I have interest more towards accounting than finance, I'll take ACCA. (Most probably not)
Finance interests -
I am very interested in finance market, stocks, investments etc. But I don't know how do I go about it now because I am still pursuing my studies and building my fundamentals on this sector.
Goal:
I will start reading more finance related stuffs, get myself more closer to this area and be very successful in the finance industry extra earning money in other areas on top of my salary.
Piano "interests" -
I've skipped two lessons, in which I've not done it previously. The so-called "rebel".
I flunked my studies, I wasn't really being appreciated for working hard in my piano physically, may I emphasize again, physically in a direct way, for years.
I, therefore, find no meaning, no aim, to continue.
It was too meaningless to continue something that is some, to what I feel, to be redundant and not helpful for my future.
I completely do not have the motivation and because all along, I wasn't doing for myself. Now that I feel I lost my motive to continue, because my motivation, that I have been forcefully working hard for without rewards, isn't watching/appreciating me at all in this aspect.
But I have a twist of my mind, after my piano teacher called me up.
I have another aim. It wasn't pretty easy to change my childhood aim to another. (I can't really explain myself for this sentence and I know it's confusing.)
I have already tried and forced myself to start my grade 8 book. it's already 1/3. It's not me to just dump things just like that. Let me explain further. If I were to throw it now, then why do I start the book in the first place when I know that I will dump it halfway?
It is because I know, I know that I will try. I will do it. I will do it even if I fail badly. I will grab this responsibility and shoulder it. It's pretty hard to explain this thinking but here's my goal.
Goal:
My goal isn't fully on doing for others now. It's now partially change to complete learning the grade 8 book.
I found my aim, my meaning to continue.
I know, that I definitely will fail this. But it doesn't matter because, my goal is to complete the book before February.
Yea, I do know that in other words, I am planning to fail. But passing isn't my aim.
Other interests + goal -
I would like to learn unicycling and swimming. enough said.
To be continued..
This month. is terribad.
I lost my handphone on the 26 of October, my Sony Ericsson Xperia ray, I have had my infomation and stuffs since sec because I transferred them whenever I change my phone.
I lost my bag, which I bought in qoo10, for the seller gave me a wrong order.
I lost my blog/google pictures as you can see from the previous blog posts that all the pictures became black. I have had those precious pictures since 2007, my growing up life stories.
When I went sec, my teenager life, my time with exs, how I struggled as a teenager, friends, my poly life, my working life, etc.
My test results "drop". I didn't do well for my academics.
I "drop" piano, I tried to "rebel" for 2 weeks. Didn't go for lessons.
And yea, was pretty upset.
Devastated.
But. I know, the only person that can bring me up again on my feet.
Is myself, by having a positive mindset.
I lost my bag, which I bought in qoo10, for the seller gave me a wrong order.
I lost my blog/google pictures as you can see from the previous blog posts that all the pictures became black. I have had those precious pictures since 2007, my growing up life stories.
When I went sec, my teenager life, my time with exs, how I struggled as a teenager, friends, my poly life, my working life, etc.
My test results "drop". I didn't do well for my academics.
I "drop" piano, I tried to "rebel" for 2 weeks. Didn't go for lessons.
And yea, was pretty upset.
Devastated.
But. I know, the only person that can bring me up again on my feet.
Is myself, by having a positive mindset.
Tuesday, October 23
October 4d numbers that relate :3
041009 3061
241009 3610
101010 7139
241010 3197 2210
081011 1010
101012 3601
201012 1010
Saturday, August 25
Tuesday, August 14
Sunday, July 15
Tweet
"The charming @xVictorielle all smiles, collecting her Salvatore Ferragamo Incanto Charms. #Singapore #Spore #SGwin: The charming @xVictorielle all smiles, collecting her Salvatore Ferragamo Incanto Charms. #Singapore #Spore #SGwin"
Monday, June 25
DAMNNNNN
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz -.-
This stupid bestie have always been taking my unglam since long time ago but its ok now i know how to behave in tube dress alr.
1st time wear this kind and i found alot of things that I should be actually be aware of. hais dammit .
SUA la ! @ least i learn at this age .. if nxt time got mature & refine look alr cfm more paiseh ..
ZZZZZZZZZ =.=
This stupid bestie have always been taking my unglam since long time ago but its ok now i know how to behave in tube dress alr.
1st time wear this kind and i found alot of things that I should be actually be aware of. hais dammit .
SUA la ! @ least i learn at this age .. if nxt time got mature & refine look alr cfm more paiseh ..
ZZZZZZZZZ =.=
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